The 5 Stages of Child Development - A Brief Note
Learning to love with the unselfishness is
not easy because this is contrary to our nature. That is why we are given the
time to learn throughout our lives in a family. (Family DISCovery)
One
may think that to nurture children, every parent has already had the instincts
on how to raise their children. Yes, less and more, there is nothing wrong about
this point of view. On the contrary, we can see how many children are taught
and brought up in the wrong and inappropriate ways; how many cases that
children experience violence in the home by their parents and/or by the other
family members? Or even the worse things might occur: the parents do not care
about their children in any way. As a result, we may see that so many children
turn out to be broken home children.
In
response to the awareness of the important thing about how to bring up children
in the more multifaceted environments and some challenging situations nowadays,
here is a brief note about the 5 stages of child development as to the
foundation to knowledge on children, as follows:
Stage 1: Trust versus mistrust (from birth to 1st
year)
The main source of child’s fulfillment: the
mother’s figure.
What is important? Mother-child bonding.
The main theme: The establishment of trust.
Practical things that need to be done by the mother:
• Fulfill child’s needs related
to physical needs.
• Complete child’s needs to be
loved or the closeness with the mother.
• Show your child that he/she is
hoped, loved and a valuable person, especially by mother, family and his/her
surroundings.
If neglected:
The
child does not feel safe, feel worried when entering a new environment and may feel
not confident. He or she is also easy to feel frustrated, cynical, or has a
low tolerance to the uncomfortable situations and become very dependent on
others as well as will dodge from her/his surroundings.
Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and doubt (from 2nd
year – 3rd year)
The main source of child’s completion: Parents’
figure (mother and father).
What is important? Rules should be started to be given to the child.
The main theme: Self-control without losing a sense of
self-esteem.
Practical things that need to be done by parents:
• Give clear
and consistent rules in the house.
• Reassure
the child that he/she is able to perform the existing rules.
• Give an
award when the child successfully accomplishes these rules.
What if?
• Consequences are too tough:
child often feels shamed and afraid.
• Rules are too strict or
inflexible: Children are frightened or hesitate to do something.
• There are no rules but there
are punishments: the child hesitates to achieve something.
• There is an unpleasant
treatment: the child will be compulsive, messy (dirty), stingy, and rigid.
• There are no rules and
consequences: behave badly/disobedient.
Stage 3: Initiative versus Guilty feeling (from 4th
year – 5th year)
In this
stage:
A child develops ability of the body movement, language skills, curiosity,
imagination and the ability to set goals.
Main theme: Building up the child’s initiatives.
Practical things that need to be done:
• Give a child the opportunities
to satisfy his/her curiosity or physical explorations and to express his/her
thoughts.
• Give awards or positive
responses.
• The proportional reactions to
each child's behaviour should be shown.
What if?
• Too many
restrictions when the child is exploring and satisfying his/her curiosity: The
child will do not have the initiatives.
• Parents emphasise the guilty feeling--rigid associated with morality: children will be inflexible
in responding to various things around him/her.
• An absence
of opportunity for child to understand the limits and guilty feeling when
his/her initiative is excessive: the child grows up without knowing the
restrictions, careless, and does not recognise the norms.
Stage 4: Being capable and master something versus being not
capable
(from 6th year until puberty – 12th years)
The main theme: I am what I learn.
Practical
things that need to be done by parents or schools to answer the needs of
children are:
• Help the child to master the
tasks or lessons that he/she has. Do not give him/her tasks or demands which
exceed the child's ability.
• Encourage and facilitate the
child to participate in various activities that can improve his/her capabilities.
• Give praises, rights, or some
special treatments when a child shows particular success or effort.
If neglected:
• The child does not feel that
he/she has the ability.
• He/she does not want to show
his/her efforts.
• Tend to provide crude results.
• When the demand exceeds the
child’s limits, the child becomes frustrated and stressful.
Stage 5: Identity and denial versus the spread identity (Teen - 13th
– 18th year)
In this
stage:
The child is establishing the identity and facing changes and certain
pressures. Besides, there is also a social force to make decisions about
education and the demands to consider and integrate various roles that have
been formed previously.
The main theme: To be or not to be.
Practical things that need to be done:
• Provide comfortable and conducive environment for children to cope with the challenges
of adolescence stages.
• The
supportive environments or surroundings that understand them.
• System
values which are consistent and accommodate mutually.
The consequences when the child is stuck in this stage:
• Lack of
understanding of himself/herself deeply.
• Easily
influenced by the environment.
• If the
environment is not conducive: the child may experience pressures/stressful.*
(WONN)
*Source: Book "Family DISCovery Way”--a workbook for family".
*Summarised and translated into English by Ms. Ningrum.
*Source: Book "Family DISCovery Way”--a workbook for family".
*Summarised and translated into English by Ms. Ningrum.
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